Oh? The mola mola is swimming to you! What's this...? It sounds like it's talking?!

When a novel or game describes itself as "queer" within the first two sentences there's a 30% chance that it's a good solid piece of media with a focus on LGBT+ themes, and a 70% chance it's weird amateur garbage that has nothing going for it other than "hey there's gay stuff in it".





Definitely agree with the adage "time you enjoy wasting is not really time wasted" (i.e. activies that seem trivial or pointless are completely worth it they bring enjoyment), but struggling with whether I'm living it or not.

I don't feel any kind of enjoyment in the process of writing, drawing, coding, doing whatever arbitrary creative task I've assighed myself. There's a tiny bit of relief and satisfaction when something's done, but that's it. I have a slew of active, semi-active and retired social media profiles dedicated to all sorts of niche communities or subject matters and keeping up with them is an enormous time sink.

Everything feels more like "compulsion", so I don't know what I actually enjoy doing. How do I tell the difference between "I'm enjoying this" and "I'm acting on compulsion"? How much of my time would I get back if I managed to excise compulsions, and only do things that feel fun or relaxing? What would I do with that reclaimed time?

I shouldn't even be writing this, and this site shouldn't exist. This is a compulsion spurred on by the fact that I am extremely isolated and have somehow developed the belief that if I vent my thoughts to the thin air, I'll experience some kind of peace or catharsis.




All contemporary tabletop roleplay communities fall on one side of this extreme spectrum or the other, with very little in between.

Pole 1: The world is an ultra-gritty, "realistic" shithole where everyone is dirty and constantly dying. Somehow, there is only one woman to every twenty male characters and they will only ever be one of three female archetypes that can be imaged by the DM (virginal waif, old hag or random prostitute). The party are a bunch of grunting, min-maxed murderhobos. Played exclusively by males between the ages of 25 and 55.

Pole 2: The world is some hybrid of a Ghibli film, a shoujo anime and a yoghurt commercial. Conflict is extremely tepid and usually resolved by way of impassioned speeches and crying. The party is a collection of gay tieflings with anxiety disorders. Played by people between the ages of 18 and 30 who are nevertheless still mentally high-schoolers.




"Well, if [x] is such a good idea, why haven't we already done it?"

Usually because people and corporate bodies with certain interests have spent a lot of time and money fabricating an image that [x] is unfeasible/unreliable/dangerous etc.

(This was in response to watching people debate about nuclear energy and renewables, but it applies to a lot of things. "Things are the way they are because it's probably the best option"-type thinking is unproductive and thought-terminating.)




Vital to resist engaging in generation wars (e.g. boomers vs millennials, millennials vs zoomers) in addition to all other "culture" wars.

This is misdirection. A person's age does not tell you anything meaningful about their values or politics.




Language is for imparting concepts. To put a thought from your brain into another person's brain, you both need a common agreement/understanding of what a word means.

It's frustrating that, in the service of a vague notion of inclusivity and "not gatekeeping", orientation labels slowly get stretched to encompass an ever-broadeniing definition.

20 years ago "lesbian" meant "woman who is exclusively attracted to other women". Now bisexuals use it and have been trying to make "bi lesbian" happen for the past couple years, though broader words like "sapphic" and "wlw" have been widely adopted to describe women in relationships with women but who also have relationships with/attraction to men.

20 years ago the word "asexual" meant someone with very little or no interest in having sex. Now it includes people who have loads of sex, enjoy that sex and use pornography because technically they do all that "without experiencing sexual attraction to another person".




I am not capable of viewing myself as an authentic sexual subject.




The ultimate, irrefutable truth of skincare: cleaning up your diet, drinking water, getting better sleep and addressing any other health concerns (e.g. deficiencies, hormonal issues) will always go further than slathering on some $80 Sephora bullshit that TikTok brainwashed you into buying.




People who read history and come away thinking things like "well, I never would have done/thought/supported that!" regarding things like slavery or misogyny show a lack of self-awareness.

You are casting a backward glance with modern sensibilites. There is literally every possibility that if "you" were born hundreds of years ago, you would have had a slave or beat your wife and think nothing unusual of it. Because that's not "you". This exercise is you imagining yourself as you are now, transplanted in a different time.




You ought to be critical of ideaologies that demand your unquestioning self-sacrifice.

Ask yourself: who really profits from your suffering? Are you actually bleeding for your countrymen, or are you bleeding for a remote, self-interested wealthy elite only concerned with cementing their own power and comfort? Are you really honoring God, or are the boundaries of your life being determined by your pastors and lawmakers?

There's eternal tension between "you deserve to respect and protect yourself" and "you belong to a community and it is noble to set aside your comforts for the greater good".




I don't believe in a true definition of free will. Life is mostly (if not wholly) comprised of chains of deterministic forces.

From moment-to-moment I'm conscious, acting and able to make decisions. I'm also aware my perception, behavior and decision-making is informed by all the life experiences I've accumulated up to this moment. Many if not all of the things that led to the formation of my patterns were out of my hands to begin with - the socio-economic strata and country I was born into, the expectations placed on me because of my sex, my genetics etc.




"But who/what am I?" - nothing in particular. You lost the second you tricked yourself into thinking that a permanent state of self exists. The you reading this is different from the you a day ago, the you two years ago, the you ten years ago.

You are a wholly unique individual with your own experiences, thoughts, feelings. These things are in a constant state of change and getting too invested in "finding yourself" can be a trap. Be less interested in yourself and more interested in the people around you, the world outside of you, and the pursuits you pour your love into.




"Health at any size" is false, but healthy can look a lot bigger than you think.

"Health at any size" is false, but concern trolling (bullying & demeaning people in the belief it will prompt them to lose weight) has been proven time and time again to not work.

"Health at any size" is false, but if someone is unhealthily obese and is fine with it and wants to be that way, they should be left in peace. Bodily autonomy includes understanding some people are not interested in healthy choices.

"Health at any size" is false, but some people are legitimately unable to be a healthy weight (whatever that is for them) due to access/financial constraints, demands of life/time, disability and/or age (e.g. post-menopausal women). They still deserve dignity.




"Fashion" is a difficult interest because at its best it's about craftsmanship and art you can wear, and at its worst it's hyper-consumptive and hugely wasteful or jealousy kept by the uber rich and inaccessible to the common person.

Every time I see a conventionally attractive celebrity wearing a completely plain, unadorned solid beige bodycon piece being considered "high fashion" I want to piss on them.




Vaporwave is one of the most fascinating & precious modern art movements, born organically in a corner of the internet, never beholden to profit or mainstream appeal, one foot in the past & one in the present, cultivating a sense of nostalgia for a time that never really existed.

It evokes the "found object" concept. Its philosophical origins are self-aware irony & anti-consumerism. Harper called it accelerationism in musical form. It employs elements of surrealism & dadaist thought. It lived, made its mark and died as pure as any art movement could have.




I pray one day people realize that obsessing over age gaps is dangerous and reductive. Power differentials exist in every relationship and what makes a relationship unhealthy isn't the presence of one, it's whether it's actually leveraged to control, use, abuse or manipulate.

Relationship between an able-bodied and disabled person. Relationship where one party earns a higher wage, or is the sole breadwinner. Relationship between a person holding a PHD and one that dropped out of high school. Relationship with one person neurodivergent and the other neurotypical.

"Nobody should be in a relationship with any sort of power gap" = mixed-race relationships are problematic, people who are able in mind/body can only date others like themselves, people shouldn't have relationships across class divides etc.